Inner Peace

Sometimes even our best intentions can lead us astray. In our desire to be happy, chasing rainbows, we just keep spinning our wheels. There is no difference in my ego chasing success in the business game and chasing success in the happiness game. I am still chasing, still seeking external control, still focused on the outcome, looking for things outside myself to fulfill me. When we focus on the outcome we miss the journey. I have found that by embracing everything, everything about my life, I stop pushing and pulling and I am able to allow happiness to unfold. Allowing happiness and peace to guide me feels so much better than seeking happiness and peace.

In Neale Donald Walsch's book "Happier Than God" he states, "Staying positive when surrounded by--even when submerged in--what others might call 'negativity' is easier than you think. The trick is to bring an end to judgement, to 'judge not by appearances.' When you bring an end to judgement you bring an end to an entire way of living. This is no small thing. This is a life changing shift in attitude and behavior. This is a miracle."

I love how he puts quotes around negativity calling attention to the fact that nothing is negative, it is the mind that makes it so. In the past I have often viewed my children fighting as a bad thing. I put lots of judgement around it, labeling their behaviors as good or bad. When I can step back, take a breath and not jump in trying to control them. The mind is so fast. Oh no fighting, that's bad, must stop it. I have been truly amazed at how my children navigate their experiences when I get my agenda, even an agenda for peace, out of the way.

Last night my older son was feeling badly and he started teasing my younger son. My younger son, now feeling badly himself, gave him a kick. This led to a punch. One flopped on the floor in tears and the other ran for cover. It was an interesting thing for me to witness. I sat with the one on the floor and held him. When he was feeling better he ran off to seek his revenge. He chased big brother around the living room with a shoe in hand. I said, "Okay when you are done I'll be in the other room," and I went to my room. I didn't want to participate. I embraced the moment and I trusted that they would work it out. If they wanted help they would ask. I felt very free. Not ten seconds later my youngest came and sat on my bed, shoe still in hand. Could it be possible that my total surrender and acceptance of the moment diffused the war? Could the presence of my own inner Peace have contributed to a cease fire? Works for me.

In the past my desire for Peace when my outer world was in chaos would have had me pull out all my controlling tactics. STOP fighting!! Don't throw that shoe!! Why are you teasing him? Why did you hit him? Definitely adding fuel to the fire. So much easier to accept and appreciate them and myself and then take action from there. My action happened to be leaving the room.