By strengthening our witnessing self we can begin to insert pauses into our reactionary life. When we are having stressful reactions to our children this is an opportunity to take a breath and witness. When we think they should be doing or being anyway other than what they are doing or being it is a wonderful moment to stop and notice.
Become a kind witness to your mind. One of my favorite things to say to myself is "Hmmm isn't that interesting." Eventually you will be able to track that these stressful responses to your children are really your own personal stresses from the past being triggered by YOUR perception of their actions.
All of the thoughts and judgements and opinions are filtered through our past programming. When we are busy thinking and judging we are not present and connecting with our kids because we are not connected with ourselves.
